Best Jack-o-lantern yet

I don't know if you still read this regularly, Daniel, but...
This is for you.

THEY ARE NIGHT ZOMBIES! THEY ARE NEIGHBORS!

These past few days have been so exciting and fun-filled!!!

This week's projects weren't very difficult and not very time consuming, there are long term projects I need to be working on and am currently working on, but for now, I have the chance to sit back and enjoy spending time with wonderful folks.

It really has been lovely.

(This entry will have no pictures because I don't want to post scary ones!!!)

Me, Tyler, Lindsay, and Joe all watched 28 Days Later last night to celebrate Halloween. I've never done that - watched a horror movie on Halloween - but it seems like a bad time to watch one! There are costumed creeps everywhere!!

You know, vampires and chainsaw murderers and ghosts don't really scare me, but zombie movies are really ... really frightening to me

I'm not talking about slow-moving undead, crawling up out of graves. All you have to do is run. Or just power-walk. And you're out of harm's way.

I'm talking about "infected" people, turned into crazies by some virus or curse.

It's scary because it seems so plausible!!! With all the scientific experiments and genetic engineering, what if something went horribly wrong?!
.... But then, when you really think about it, it's all just pretty ridiculous.

Even so. It freaks me out.

But what freaks me out even more than infected crazies are dogs. Maybe it's because I'm such a cat person, but dogs realllly frighten me.
So it follows that a movie containing infected crazy dogs (I Am Legend) would give me nightmares for weeks.

Thank goodness for gore-free comedy movies. And zombie survival guides.

Sighs vs. Music Theory

You can tell everything about how I'm feeling by the way I walk in after a long day.

I always will sigh, because I'm exhausted, but the pitch of the sigh says everything.

For example. I realized today that my sigh started on B flat and dropped a fifth. (Usually every sigh will contain a fifth drop.) And that accurately summed up my mood. B flat is a mellow key. "Doin' fine"

If I sigh an "A" you should just accept that I had a wonderful day and not ask about it, because I will gush about how good it was and annoy you because the A sigh is the dreamy "I saw him today" sigh

The optimal sigh pitch is "G" and it is the most common.
In fact that's the one I sigh the most when walking in the door.


The rare bad/grueling day is an F sharp.

If you happen to have your tuner out and you hear an F sharp sigh....... I'd appreciate it if you went up and hugged me.

But today was a B flat day.
Pretty swell.

nighty night

Take me out to the ball game...

I feel that things have finally settled down again. Big projects are done, tests have been taken, and I actually had a night off to watch the Rangers game with some friends.

The San Francisco pitcher looked so ... troubled. His facial expression right before he pitched - it was just too funny.

I actually did watch the play and not just the players. I think baseball is exciting because it's the one sport that I understand.
(I played the old SNES baseball game... and it helped me)

If only I had played a football game I would understand that!!! It has been explained to me countless times and I still don't get it. :(

Tomorrow is an easier day. One of my classes isn't meeting, so all I have to attend is one class! Yay!

I need to get to bed - now that I have less work I can get ample sleep! =)

(you know, as fabulous as Cliff Lee is, my favorite pitcher will always be Daniel Chruscielski!)

I could really use a wish right now

I just want to curl up in a big knitted sweater surrounded by a bunch of quilts with a mug of hot chocolate and watch a disney movie ...

SO.

Tonight was the open mic night thing. for missions.
Lady Gaga was there. You know. I let her borrow my sunglasses. ;)

I miss playing music
I miss dancing with my friends.

That's the one thing .. I spend all my time working, and I get my music fix in the practice room, but sometimes, I just really miss show choir. And I realized it at open mic night.
I say it in passing sometimes. Like, "I miss my show choir figure" because I was so good about working out back then.
I really do miss it though. Singing and making music with other people, that is a huge source of joy for me.

But.

I got to play the Pokemon theme song afterward. and sing with Jake. that was superfun.
Is it selfish to say that was the highlight of my evening?? but it was just so nice to sing a song I was crazy about with someone as enthusiastic about it as I was.

GOSH! I feel like I'm so serious in my posts and I don't mean to be. I don't really take myself so seriously...
I'm trying to be honest. And record life accurately.

I miss singing jazz.
I miss a lot of things.

But there's so many wonderful things here that I'd be silly to be sad and looking back.
I'm so blessed. I say it so much but you know, I really mean it every time I do

Delight in the Lord!

I remember when I first came here, and God was just working and moving in my life in crazy ways, certain phrases kept echoing in my mind. "Delight in the Lord and He will give you the desires of your heart." "Ask and you shall recieve."

I find myself remembering those phrases. God knows what we need. And He does not withhold these good things from us.

My lovely older sisters in Christ have blessed me so much with their kindness and beautiful examples of godly women.

This past week I had been feeling discouraged because I am so young and immature in my faith. I admire my sisters for their strength and wisdom, but it makes me realize how much I have to learn.
The discouragement came from my repeated failure to overcome temptation and just academically I'm not doing as well as I'd hoped. So it was spiritual and worldly discouragement.

But Pastor Ross said something this morning, he told us not to get caught up in the works; that Jesus tells us only to fix our eyes upon Him and let Him work in us.

I'd been so caught up in works.. I know that I'm supposed to love God firstly, and everything else falls after, but I need to stop stressing about the after. God will change me and fix me in His own time. I just have to fix my eyes on Him. And the fruit of that will be my overcoming of those obstacles.

As for academics, I'm cutting back even more things to make sure I get everything done. And this last project, I did it in a worshipful manner, I wanted my work to be pleasing to the Lord.
I am so happy that even my schoolwork can be worship..

Even if painting is difficult. =)

I feel like as long as I'm doing my best, I don't need to get down and discouraged on myself. Getting discouraged is so easy for me to do - but I fight those thoughts. We're all going at our own pace. I'm doing what I can. =)

I hope this post was encouraging for you - if you're feeling discouraged, or even if you're just praying and waiting for God to move in your life.. He will not withhold good things from you, remember the righteous man "is like a tree planted by rivers of water... whatever he does will work out well for him." =)

Tight hugs. Warm wishes.
Whatever it is, you can do it. You'll overcome it.

Feel Good Drag

Our small group is currently going through 1 John. Reading scripture is always a good thing, but Stephanie always brings something up when she goes over it with us, something I didn't think of when I read it the first time.

Anyway - it was 1 John 5, the passage about "they will know we are Christians by our love."
She said that it was about WANTING to love people instead of just being nice to them out of 'duty'.

This morning a janitor stopped me to talk to me today. She was an ex-Sociology major. I think God has put in her the desire to exhort and encourage people, because she was talking to me about my future and how I needed to use my career as an opportunity to bless others.
I was following her until she started talking about our reward when we give to others.

Her motivations were that it makes us feel good inside. We give to others because we recieve happiness tenfold.

What a sweet woman. But as wonderful as this sounds, I realize it can sometimes distract us.

We should want to serve others because it glorifies God, not just because it makes us feel good.
It's hard to say this, because I know I will be misunderstood, but God should be the center of our affections, and we should be moved to serve and feel good serving, blessing others does give us a feeling of satisfaction, but the reason WHY we do it is because we are called to do so, and we do it out of love for God and a desire to be like Christ.

If you want to be seen as a "good person" then I guess it stops there. Giving because you "get" a good feeling.

But what about when it hurts to serve, when it's a real sacrifice, when God calls you to do something that others misunderstand?
That's when the traps of wanting to "feel good" and be seen as a "good person" will cause us to stumble. I get caught up in those traps all the time and I don't even realize that I'm doing it for my own gain.

Walking with God is a balancing act sometimes.
We can get caught up in sin and feel totally worthless and afraid, and then we can get caught up in self-righteousness.
So yes - we should take joy in serving others. But we do it not for the joy, but to walk in the footsteps of Christ.

And I get so caught up in the philosophy of optimism and staying positive. I realized that I have to keep that out of my Gospel. Even though I think being positive is great, exhortation isn't just the messages of "SMILE" and "Be happy"

I feel like sometimes people try to dress up the Gospel and scripture with other philosophies. Our culture is saturated with appealing things that we don't even realize are unBiblical.

I pray for a spirit of compassion and love, because it is only through the Holy Spirit's power that I can spread light.

Hugs!!

Powodzenie

Today was total "powodzenie"!!! That means SUCCESS!!!!

I went to my art critique and WHAAAA everyone seemed to like it, even though I felt it was a little bit rushed because I was out sick last week and didn't have enough time to do it....

I GOT A 97 on my DRAWING PROJECT!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm so happy I could be dancing.

The news only gets better.

So I stopped by the garage sale at the BSM and I found all these cute clothes!!!
I got two pairs of shoes, one pair of boots and one pair of fancy black flats.
Total cost for shoes = $6
And the boots are nice winter boots! I like them!
I also got a dress, a nice plaid top, and an artsy purse for a total of $3!

But the best part is, all the money is donated to missions, so I can save money AND help send someone on missions!!! What a fabulous idea! =)))

The pastor at C3 wants me to help design stuff for the church! Obviously my school assignments will come first, but this could be something for my portfolio! If they turn out nice =)
But my current spiritual challenge is to be a better steward of time, since I have fallen behind due to sickness.

Another happy piece of news - my drawing class is giving us the weekend off, no homework for once!! =)
I TOLD you today was total powodzenie!!

Champion Radish!

OMW I JUST WORKED OUT.. for the first time at the rec center.
I try to work out in my dorm room, doing a little Pilates, but honestly, I haven't had a real workout since the days of summer Ab Lounge.
The REC center (yes, this is an actual picture of it) is truly superior.
They have:

-7.5 pound weights for my super strength
- stair climbing treadmills.
- like three pools, hot tub, lap swimming
- leg excercisers, they work your thighs and glutes!
- Pilate mats!!! ♥
- a track with an amazing view (it's like a ring around the ceilling!)
- excercise balls! huge ones!
- pretty much everything.

I'm going to try and teach Maria yoga and stretches!! My core muscles have gotten so weak.... :3

I FEEL GREAT!

Back to awesome

Goodness gracious. I think today was splendid!!!
The past week was troublesome what with sickness and projects, but I feel like I've been through the worst of it and things are back to awesome!


I got two artworks done, spent time with lovely people, and I feel like I aced my mid-term!!! We will see if my suspicions are correct.


I give today a 10/10! Rating: fabulous. =)

I hope you're doing well too! Hugs!

Einstein

We went on a "field trip" today in drawing =)
To the Union! It was fun.. I had to sketch the outside of the building, but I did get the opportunity to pop in and try one of the famous Einstein bros. bagels! Mmmm!

I embarrass myself so often.

I was sitting outside drawing and a bee flew up to me and I freaked out and pulled a "limbo" ducking-dodge. I turn around. Someone was watching me. I fix my hair and stay casual.

Sounds silly. But if you had seen me "freakout" and the crazy dodge move, you would have laughed at me.

~


I was listening to a poem and I realized, I listen more than I speak, I watch more than I do, I take in more than I put out.
I get more than I give. And that troubles me.

Freshman year is probably supposed to be a tad selfish though. Soaking up knowledge and experiences. Gaining the tools to do bigger things.

I guess I just want to see those things happen.
I want mountains to move - I don't know what I want to happen really, I just want to be used.

I could talk a long time about "my generation" and the revolution and my frustration with love turning into a fashion statement, but I think I'm more concerned about fighting darkness myself.

I'm not a burly or intimidating spiritual warrior right now. I know I'm still so immature and there is a lot in me that needs changing. But there's the will. I want to be someone God can use to light up the darkness.

I'm excited to keep learning and growing!!!

Coloriffic!

I realized that early morning is my favorite time of day... as I was waking up. I almost wish my class were at 6 so I could walk across the dew every morning at 5:30. But then I think about what a terrible idea that really is.


I made an A on my last project!!!!
>:D!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I think it's a big deal. The photography one. Chyesss...
I'm very pleased.

And you know what? This fractured space painting? I liked how it turned out! (oh nevermind I'll post the picture later.)

I feel like my design projects are slowly turning into things that I can manage. If only I hadn't been sick, I would be having an easier time of it right now...

I'm feeling better, though. Really this time! I know I said I was feeling better before, but I'm not sniffling/coughing quite so much.

Anyway.


I want to do really well on this next one - I'm excited about it. (It involves lots of color!!) I still feel like there's a crazy amount of stuff in my other classes.. I don't know how I'm going to do it, but I'll find a way! >:)

Remember - surround yourself with things that inspire and empower you! =)

The Color Pink

Paul once spoke of a "thorn in his flesh," and it plagued him constantly.
Some people think it was a physical disease, like bad eyesight. Some people say it was habitual sin.

I hate to return to it, (isn't it ironic, returning and talking about habitual sin again?) but this post is to praise God for the revelation that has come like a swift roundhouse kick to the Habitual-Sin Monster's face.

And I have to share my revelation with you!


(Thanks again to the older Christian brother and sister that helped me into the light on this matter.)


Let's talk about romance. This is for my sisters. This isn't about not feeling pretty, or silly dating advice, or "being confident"

It is a common temptation for Christians to fall into the "good works" trap. We feel that we can earn our way to heaven by doing good deeds (actually a lot of other religions advocate this as well)
But it is a myth! For as I keep having to learn, Jesus Christ is the only one who can reunite us with God and bring about holiness in our lives! All of our strivings are in vain without His aid.

So I realized that I have been with boys.
I thought it was all about being confident and flirty. And to some extent it was godly that I embraced my feminity.

But it's not about what we do, the clothes we wear, the jokes we make, how we flirt, how we play.
What attracts the worldly flesh will never attract the righteous man that the godly woman professes to desire.

We can be sexy gun-toting superwomen, like society encourages us, Amazon warrior women.
We can be fierce and sassy, clad in leather and our lips lined with snappy retorts.
But deep down inside every woman, God has put the desire to be rescued. Women are designed differently than men - but that's heresy in the Strong-Independent-Woman gospel.

I hated this thought of being a "damsel in distress," "helpless" and "pink."
I grew furious when I read verses that said women shouldn't speak in church or teach. (It had to be explained to me many times before I could swallow it.) I had a feminist streak in me.
I wanted to be a superwoman.

And as my view of myself was perverted, so was my relationship with men. I desired relationships where I was in control, I had something to offer, I was performing for him.
And then there were those where I was the mother/older sister figure, stronger and more mature.
But all of these relationships/crushes were ungodly.

As I chased God, professing Him as my First Love, laying my romantic affections down in favor of a God whose love is infinite, I now see those affections for what they are/were.



I want my future lover to be enchanted by the Fruit of the Spirit he sees in my heart, to be amazed not by anything of my own work, but to see me like the moon, that its light comes from the Son.

This excerpt from a poem by Bradley Hathaway was the catalyst for this entry.

I will fight for her, climb the highest tower for her, love her, share with her, delight in her, be her warrior, her protector. She will be my crown and I will be hers. My masculinity will be passed down and affirmed to my sons. And each of my daughters will know they are lovely, and deserving of authentic romance.

"I am a Manly Man"

So sisters... the God's Spirit and work within you makes you lovely =)


Hugs. ♥

Me and Chuck Norris Don't Cry. Mostly.

Well, after one more feverish and awful night, it finally seems like I am really on the road to recovery this time.

I am aware that I am very prone to tears when I'm sick. But the amount of time I spend crying when I'm sick is just ridiculous.
(I'm eighteen years old, I should act my age...)

It was really embarassing when I was trying to make an appointment at the campus clinic.
That poor receptionist. I didn't even mean to burst into tears. I tried to go along with the procedure casually - I didn't even feel sad, and there was no real reason for it.
I wasn't stressed. I wasn't upset. I'm still wondering what happened.
When I'm sick...I just am very prone to tears.

..When I'm healthy, I'm like Chuck Norris. >:) bada-bang, bada-boom.


Good news is, the medication should get me back to 100% in 24 hours. (yesssssss)

The only thing is.... my dignity will take longer to get back. I can't wait to not be a wimp. Maybe tossing people in a dumpster might help speed that along? That and a mohawk.
(that Glee reference is lost upon you, I'm sure)

GEE WHIZ! Life is grand, considering the circumstances. I mean at least I have a cozy dorm with lovely bagels and hot chocolate to come home to! And lovely friends wishing me well, that really keeps my spirits up =))

I will miss UNT, but I can't wait to go home and feel crummy in my own bed and my own house.
Gosh I already miss it. I'm missing out on it, I mean. I need to get better soon! Come on medicine! Do your stuff!

Recovery

You know what??? I'm THIS close to being in tip-top shape. I can just feel the strength coming back to me!!!

Okay. I have to confess something.

I have a drinking problem.

Cherry Capri-Sun has taken over my life. It's just so good.
Also, Dole Orange Peach Mango juice. I used to drink that a lot.

In other news, my ceilling is very bumpy. I used to have a bumpy ceilling, in my old house, when I was just a little kid.
I guess they call it "popcorn" and it used to be real popular.

I've decided that the future home that I own will have this..."popcorn ceilling." Also, it should have a koi pond.


You know, aside from sickness, and projects, and craziness, everything that matters is going just right. =)
Not that projects don't matter!!! They do! I haven't failed anything!! I work hard!

Today was a very quiet but very nice day. I had a lot of time to recover and study and it was just nice all around.
I couldn't go to classes because I'm not "24-hours fever free" but tomorrow I can =))))

Tomorrow is also crave! And I get to see my fabulous small group! it'll be a wonderful day. =)

Mystery sickness strikes!

Well... I wouldn't call it a bad day... but it did have a few less than awesome events in it.

Last night was not fun. I had bad chills and getting out of bed took a lot of willpower.

I had to turn in an assignment in Drawing I or else I would have skipped probably. And I had that big paper due in Honors Classical Arguement.
So I ended up having to go to all my classes! I feel guilty because I may have infected some other people! But I really thought it could be just a cold :( To everyone I saw today... I apologize...

I went to the doctor and she said I had a fever. OH NO!
So she tested me for flu. Didnt have it!
Then she said I might have mono. I freaked out because I never thought I'd get THAT! But after I got my blood drawn she said that came out negative too.

So I have a mystery illness! And I will stay home from school tomorrow.

Aside from the fever I feel fabulous. I'm sure it won't be long before I can jump back in the game!!!

You know what??? This mystery illness just might be...

Sick.

Unfortunately I woke up this morning with a sore throat. It wasn't the best start to the day, but Sunday night more than made up for it! =)

I love coming together with my brothers and sisters. And last night was really crazy. Gifts in action...God working and moving...
I couldn't help but feel a strong desire for God to use me like He has used my friends.

Also. I cannot stress this enough. The bike is a wonderful wonderful thing.
I got very winded today because I am sickly.. but it was good not to have to walk for a long time. =)

Oh, I finished that paper and I feel so much better about things. I don't feel nearly as stressed out. Whew!

You know, as much as I love Denton, I love coming home to see family and friends. There are just some people that bring a smile to your face whenever you hear their name or remember a good time with them... I've been trying to do india ink portraits of them as gifts!!!


Speaking of those. If you want one please let me know. I love doing them but I don't want to paint you unless you're a good friend, because if I just give you a painting of yourself, you'd think I'm creepy.

Well, that's all for now! Prayers for my recovery are greatly appreciated.
Have a great day, smiles and hugs are renewable resources!!!

Suko Thai !!! And Idols

So I think Suko Thai is my favorite place in the world. Just maybe.
I can get a delicious plate of rice that is more than I can eat for $1! For a quarter more it will be fried rice, which I just had for the first time!!!♥ And surprise surprise, I liked it! ♥

I really and truly love the people that surround me right now. Thinking of them puts a smile on my face and a ray of sunshine in my heart. They're so kind.

I'm so amazed and in awe of the wonderfulness that God is just blessing me so much with. It's unreal.

Still working on the paper. It's easy to write the parts that I've really thought out, but my third section was really.. just to have a third section. Haha.
But it will be acceptable come Tuesday!!!

~~ Idols

I really felt like I had to share this. Because it's on my heart. I'm sorry but I get so excited about the new doctrines that I learn and rediscover!!!!

28 One of the teachers of the law came and heard them debating. Noticing that Jesus had given them a good answer, he asked him, “Of all the commandments, which is the most important?”
29 “The most important one,” answered Jesus, “is this: ‘Hear, O Israel, the Lord our God, the Lord is one.30 Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind and with all your strength.’

"What do you center your life around? Where are your affections? What is most important to you?"
When I asked myself these questions, I realized that God really had strayed from the center of my life. I hadn't cast Him away... I just let other things creep into my life. Idolatry is something I've been struggling with. Specifically, romance. I'm awfully and hopelessly romantic. And God needs to be the one that I'm longing for, God needs to be the last person I think about, the one I dream about, the one who shapes my actions, the one whose love is "all I need."

Things like art, friendship, happiness, are all wonderful wonderful things, but when you start living for them, they become idols.
And being a Christian, a lover of God, that means He is your first love and the one you center your life around.
But it can also be just religion itself, and "looking religious" to fit in with the people around you. If you get caught up in the theology and forget God Himself, His beauty and Grace, then you're being idolatrous.

All sins stem from breaking this first commandment. When we love sin more than we love God, we choose it over Him. If we really loved Him all the time, we would obey him out of love. But we're not perfect - thank goodness Jesus stepped in.
And we physically can't love God the way He loves us. It's only through Christ that we are able to have a relationship with God at all.

I realize that it's Christ that enables us to do every good work, including loving God with all my heart. The Holy Spirit in us is the life inside us, growing the fruits of the Spirit!! (that's why they're called fruits of the Spirit...ahh)
So we can't expect to be able to grow them in our own struggling. We are never big or strong enough.


Hey! Youtube this song:

Cory Asbury "So Good to Me"
It's just a wonderful praise song.

And if you're also struggling with idolatry, this song is perfect for setting aside that idol and turning it over to God.
Matt Maher "Lay it Down"

I love you and thanks for reading the second part. I'm just so excited!!!

House Show

I spent all Friday and today working on my projects and essay, so I decided that it would be alright for me to go see a house show. "Across Waters" was the headliner.

The performers were all really good!

The thing about me and live music is... I have to dance. And I can't really dance. I'm very bad. So I kind of ... "flail" to the music.

But it was very high-octane, energetic music. Except for the last band, the headliner, they played instrumental music, kind of Explosions in the Sky sounding stuff. And it wasn't sleep-inducing but I usually only listen to instrumental stuff when I'm resting or closing my eyes, so I can soak up the narrative being told by the melodies. It sounds silly but really... that's the best way to appreciate it.

Tyler Collins is a songwriting CHAMPION. He has this one song that gives me chills every time I hear it. It's wonderful.

Anyway, back to work I guess. I probably will have to work on it on Sunday, but I can always try again for that Sabbath weekend another time! =)

fun night

More india ink

This is dedicated to the faithful blog follower Daniel Chruscielski, my awesome brother.
love you Dan Dan!

RIP John Lennon

Pokemon

Remember when Pikachu looked like this?

Makes me sad...

Boogaloo, I've missed you

I can honestly say that I have missed writing essays. All of this art work and design stuff has really thrown me for a loop. But this essay assignment... it's like coming home.

The work part of it is tiring, and researching can be a strain, but I really love looking over my own output and seeing my progress. I guess I'm nerdy in that respect.

I feel silly. I shouldn't be complaining about the workload. I am grateful that I'm being challenged. It means God thinks I'm strong enough to handle it. And I take that as a compliment >:)

You know what's weird? I'm suddenly really missing my old Pokemon comic books.

It's so strange. But lately that's what I really feel like doing. Just to relax and read a Pokemon comic... if only

So am I still having a fabulou-tastic time here?

(This is Professor Oak, with a noodle on his face. I wish there were more opportunities for me to use that word....Correcta-mundo)

Overworked

Let's see. Today was another good one.
I wasn't in the best mood because I got tricked by a test for the second time. Art quiz questions are .... ambiguous

I don't think I've been slacking off as far as studying and working hard on pieces and vocabulary. I don't waste a whole bunch of time doing pointless things.

These blogs actually take less than 3 min to write and pick out a picture. And they're a nice break from homework.

But it frustrates me because I used to get top grades, and I feel like I'm just trying to survive in this environment. I want to do more than hang on. I want to flourish academically.

So I think I'm going to have to decide what things are most important to me and devote time to those things. I've realized that I really and truly can't do them all.

Schoolwork exhausts me. My eyes are tired from reading. My mind is tired from learning.
But I can't have that Sabbath, that day of rest, without getting my work done.

I thought that by taking 12 hours I would have a fairly easy load, but I see that it is not the case.. I would have really had a miserable first semester if I had taken 14! Haha. No, I'm sure I would have found UNT just as fabulous, but it would have been.... more of a struggle... I'm so overwhelmed by all this work. And I'm so afraid that I will find that Advertising requires something I don't have, or leads me down the wrong path. I'm worried that I won't do well in my classes.

I feel like I've grown so much more spiritually than I have ... artistically? I've learned so much more from these loving people and older brothers and sisters than I've learned from any class.

And that's where I feel guilty. I want to make good grades to get a scholarship and have a good academic GPA, and make my parents proud, but I have this crazy hunger and thirst for righteousness! So it's hard to say no to Bible study....

To wrap things up, I would just really love some prayer, for peace over my heart, that I would be able to show discernment in where God wants me and aid in time management.

River Feet

Little leaps of faith
Hopping from stone to stone
In a tiny river
And the feet step in
Water gurgling around their ankles
Tugging them along

Wide-eyed fish gape from the reeds
The sleepy willow groans, sighing a breeze
And the feet nestle into the warm dry boot
The water babbling at them from outside
But all they hear is a quiet mumble

Cozy and safe
Like bears in a cave
But the sun is strong and their path is long
And they begin to sweat
The boots are an oven now
So they cross over to the shore.

Their friends the helping hands
Tug the stuffy boots up, up and away
And feet rest on the shore
Wondering what the river tastes like

Now the feet step in
And plunge into an icy embrace
To meet with stones and river rocks
And the fish are even more mystified
Some are brave enough to dash by
Or mouth hello

Cold and wet the feet retreat
Back into their cozy cave ashore
The willow goes back to its sleep
But the fish are all a-twitter
Talking about river feet.

On the move

Today was a bit of a frustrating one. Not bad, just annoying. I found out that the Eagle-Images place didn't give me all of my contact sheets with my thumbnails on them. I realize it was an honest mistake, and I didn't have to pay for them (you pay at the register and they count your sheets) but still, I wanted to have them in my design class!
Happily I got them in at lecture, so no harm done =)
I am also incredibly grateful for the bike. I appreciate it almost as much as the one in Pokemon. I only wish that I didn't have to lug portfolios to my 8AMs, or else I could start sleeping in! Oh well. The plus side is that I get to start mentally getting ready for the day as I walk.... all across campus... haha

I haven't really relaxed in a while. I'm always on the move it seems. Right now I'm multitasking =)
Always something to do!
But I got an idea from my friend Jacob to set aside the Sabbath, and make sure that I have all my work done, so that I can relax and just take it easy that day! I'll get some tea, stay in bed, and read.

It's such a pretty day

Power of prayer

The thing about prayer is...
God is more than a grandfather watching over all the universe. He moves and works and changes lives. He is an awesome and powerful God.

So when we pray, we should know that God is not only listening, but that prayers have power in them. Healing, softening of hearts, change.

And when we are struggling, sometimes one of the most healing things that can happen to us is having brothers and sisters pray over us. Mankind runs to drugs and therapy and worldly cures but the reality is only God has the power to save us from sins and everything that is wrong with our flesh.

I tried to beat this sin by my own strength. I thought, "if I just do this and this, I can do it" But I thought that I had to do it alone.
I can NEVER defeat this sin. But the God over all the universe who dwells within me can, and will, I just need to focus on surrendering and being obedient to him.

Thought-pattern related sins, they are subtle sins. We think as long as we don't drink, curse, lie or have sex that we are righteous. But Jesus teaches that merely the thought of adultery is condemned as adultery, our thoughts are supposed to be holy. And I am guilty of unholy thoughts and idolatry - putting other things before God.

Don't be discouraged!!! God wants you to run to His arms and ask for His help. I know that it is only through Him that I can defeat this habitual idolatry sin, and when I pass through this fire I will be sanctified.

I love you all so much, my precious brothers and sisters!!!

The perfect morning...

The morning began splendidly. I woke up on time for once, so I wasn't wearing sweatpants to my 8AM, and I got to sit down and have an unhurried breakfast.
Also, Maple was serving cinnamon rolls this morning!!! ♥

Then class was lovely, because I had worked on my assignment outside of class and it was almost done, so I was able to finish it up. And I put my iPod on the dock and got to art-out to my own jams. =)

As if my day weren't going well enough, a Jimmy John's guy was handing out free sandwiches on my way to class! Mine was scrumptious!!!

I'm sure the rest of the day will be just as fabulous! =)

Remedies

Today I slept a lot. Since I'm afraid that I'm getting a bit sick, I'm trying to recover through sleeping and drinking a lot of fluids. And of course, laughter and sunshine. =)

We had a surprise party for Kelsey today. It was really awesome, and she looked really happy!!! I guess surprise parties are a big thing here... haha

After that I went to see the Social Network with Tara and some other kids. =)

I never thought I'd find a movie about the making of Facebook entertaining, but it was actually really wonderful!

Me and my roomate are going to start working out together!!! That really cheers me. I miss having rigorous workouts. It seems that I'm way too tired to do Pilates or any of my own workouts lately, with all these projects and walking to class. I'm totally wiped! But excercise is important! I will adjust and apply myself more to everything!

That's all for now. Have a wonderful day!

Nights of Art

It's been a fun weekend. =)

Saturday night, me, Yandi, Carli, and Megan had an art night! We all did our thing, I tried painting in india ink. I've done it gesturally on newsprint, but this time I was doing it on nice drawing paper..

I painted Megan! It was very... caricature-ish

I can't ever say that I have a Sunday "routine" or that anything is "usual" about church because it's always something new. Always something pushing me a little farther out of my comfort zone.

But I did go to church. And we went to Ramen Republic. Tasty! I usually don't eat my entire meal but lately I've had a ferocious and powerful appetite. >:)


Me, Shelbi, Mikey, Joe, and Megan all went to Art Six. I actually got to meet the artist featured in the gallery - I think I was way more excited than the situation called for but you know what? It's no bad thing to be excited about life.

After communion, we all went to McDonalds. Super fun, that's probably the food I miss the most when I'm eating at Maple. Waffles are all well and good, but McDonalds hotcakes are in another food genre altogether.



I feel like I have to defend McDonalds whenever I mention that I like it. Because there's always someone who looks skeptical. "Eat This Not That", a really awesome restaurant health-grading site, rates it a B+. It used to be an F, but they've gotten so much better! And they offer many healthy selections.
So don't hate on it too much. =)

This morning I rode the UNT bus for the first time. I didn't get very close to the art building, but it was close enough, and it was nice to close my eyes and rest instead of walking all the way.

I am a little worried that I'm getting sick because I had a bit of a sore throat last night and this morning also I'm feeling a little under the weather. My throat does feel a bit better.
My fear is that I'll get so sick that I have to miss something important. Right now I can manage.

As always, God is working and moving in incredible ways all the time. Every day is an adventure.

You know... college really is like McDonalds
I'M LOVIN IT

Hugs and kisses!

Worldlife

Oh-my-goodness! I can't even begin to tell you how excited and amazed I am! But let me try to explain. =)

The BSM has an organization called "Worldlife" where transfer students from other countries come to meet new people and learn English. Most of the students I met were from China - bless you Kendall for teaching me a little Chinese!!! I was able to tell them all "woh ai nee"!!! =)))

But they were so direct with their questions! It was amazing because they were reading the Bible for their very first time!!! And they asked the most intriguing questions!

The girls in my smallgroup, Joy, Vicky, Glinda, Sarah, and Amber, they were all such sweethearts! I was blown away by how much we had in common and could relate to each other!!!

We taught them the stories of the house upon the rock and the tax collector and the Pharisee. Rereading those stories, I saw them in a completely new way and a higher level of understanding than when I was a child. It was intense.

But the most incredible thing is how pouring doctrine into someone else's heart, it teaches you as well!!! Discipleship is a beautiful thing. I'm so happy that I could share some of the spiritual truths I've learned with someone meeting the Word for the first time! It fills my heart with joy.



I skimmed through this book at Tyler's house. It was kind of funny. I used to really like manga books, and seeing the Gospel in cartoon form was the strangest thing...


Hey...Share a truth with someone today. Someone younger or less experienced. Help your brother take the next step in their faith. None of us walk alone. =)
Or if you don't have doctrine to share, build someone up. Kindness is the only precious jewel that is a renewable resource.

I hope that made sense! Love you!

For my Cenny Ukochany

Some of you may have noticed that I've been slipping in a bit of polish here and there on some things. Well, I have compiled the snippets into a sort of ...Polish poem.
Trying to read it aloud might be silly

"To Jest Pozegnanie, Cenny Ukochany!"

to jest pożegnanie, cenny ukochany

czas kłębie wszystko
rozdzielony miłość, najwięcej

byłeś moim jedynym
ale teraz moje serce jest otwarte

to jest pożegnanie, cenny ukochany!
ja będzie czułością patrzy
ale dzisiaj ja gonić mój Panie
i nie więcej miłość z wczoraj

Community

Naps are a beautiful thing.

This blog is called "community" because I just watched that tv show for the first time at Tyler's house. And we had cookies. It was wonderous.

Yep! Today was swell =) I took this photo on my way to class. It's the typical cheesy flower photograph, but I haven't been photo-ing lately, without a supernice camera. This is the closest I've gotten to photography. sad.

Crave was intense. I've been stuck in this habitual sin rut, and this past week, I've been letting all kinds of sin creep back into my life. And the stumbling led to guilt, and the guilt led to a kind of spiritual sickness. I had been trying to get out of that funk, and I think I'm starting to get back on track!

A word of comfort, my friends. Sin has no power over you. You may feel like you've messed up, but if you want to come back to God, He's waiting with open arms. There is nothing that can pluck you from His hand! I feel like once I've messed up that my whole spiritual walk is ruined... so, it helps me to remember that.

I can't wait for tomorrow to see how God will move in my life and the lives around me! Hugs and kisses.