Wonderment, Part Two

Life is even more enjoyable when it's drinkable.

You can watch it like the passing landscape outside a train window, or you can even dangle your fingers in its syrupy textures, but it's so much richer when you bite into it, and you close your eyes, and tingly fireworks are shooting, and you just chew on it for a long time, because it's sweet...

I'm a kid, so it's easy to do.

You know children will do dumb things like eating worms?
I feel just like that. I've been spending just a little time, before the rest of the world wakes up, before I go to class... I take off my shoes and my grown-up thoughts and pretend that I never learned what was expected of me.
I even tried to pretend that I'd never seen the sun rise before. Like it was the very first day of my life. Like I'd just walked out of the morning mist, and was stepping onto the earth, feeling everything at once.

I haven't traveled far enough to know about where I am, or where I'm supposed to be, but I feel like I've started back over at a good place. And more intelligent people than me might sneer and remind me that this is real life and things have consequences, that I have eighteen whole years behind me.

Yes?
I do?
But the Bible says that we are literally born again when we come to faith. And maybe I believed before - I did, but these days feel different. Faith is alive when it is growing, and being fed.
Now I truly do feel like a new creation. My tastes are changing. Maybe intelligent people would sneer and call it "growing up"
Maybe they'd sneer and redefine everything I'm discovering.
They would call me stupid for wondering if angels are the ones that pull open the flower petals at night.
There's an intelligent part of me that knows about things like photosynthesis, and knows Darwin's tall tales about evolution, just like I know the plot of Harry Potter. And I acknowledge that there's physics and biology just like I know the stories about Jack and the Beanstalk.
I could tell you every equation and every detail that I learned for my exams, but they're as meaningful to me as the equation Wingardium Leviosa.

If you explained the evolution of the world to me, I'd probably shrug and say "I know" because there's a part of me that knows, but I don't know that I really believe all that bunk.

Did monkeys rise up and walk? In the scantron bubbles I'll recount that story.

I find myself slowing down. Delighting in things. I think God likes it when I stop and appreciate the gifts He packaged for me to find. I try to imagine gluing all the feathers on dandelion seeds, one by one, and feel grateful that He felt it was worth making.

Sometimes I call it a "childish funk" but what if, in our daily lives, we're in a different funk? What if this childlike funk is the mentality we're supposed to have? What if we're designed to be in a state of wonderment?

I don't know much.

But I'm trying as hard as I can to do the things He's told me to do.
I want to live like a lily, a happy little flower.

Jesus, won't you let me love you more?