Renewal

Sun-day, fun-day

We went to Sukho Thai after church today. I've missed that place. Then I went home and took a nap.

Meghan picked me up and we went to the clothing drive and I played cajon and we all played old school praise songs. It's been a long time since I've heard "Here I am To Worship" in church...

You know, it's good to help people. It's one of the fruits of loving the Lord. Giving clothes away to people in need, giving service, it shows that we're God's people.

Then we went out on the square and lay in the grass and talked about deliverance and the Lord and good things like that...

Meghan, Grace and I all went to McDonald's after that. Then we went to communion. Meghan took me home and now I'm here. Just thinking about... not necessarily how wonderful life is... but how mighty God has shown Himself to be in our lives.

Thought for the Day
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Firstly, the Lord is good and faithful. Lately I've been doubting some of the things that have happened, and it just doesn't seem possible that the Lord intervenes in our lives.

Of course, not only is it possible, but it's a blessing, and I was also walking in disobedience and apathy.

I used to feel frustrated and, funny enough, it came from striving to please man... Which is a huge hurdle, at least from a fleshly point of view.

I felt this deep, choking need to be different in the eyes of people who knew me in Fort Worth - if I wasn't perfect, then for some reason, the renewal of my faith that happened here wasn't "legit."

It started last semester when I felt like no one was taking me seriously.

I just now caught it. Obviously there's more things, not taking responsibility for the things that have been brought to light, things I know I should be doing....

But I'm finally at peace. I'm a sinner. Pastor Ross has said before and said again today, "The cross will never be meaningful to you if you don't realize that you're a sinner." I'm not sure of his exact words, but basically, I got tired of hearing the trite message of how Christ died for me and how awful it was for Him.

It would have been real to me every time I heard it IF I hadn't been so stinkin' self righteous every time it was preached to me.

I guess it's a test to see where you are. I kept failing the test. (I'm still not as broken as I should be... I know that.)

But if you think you're a great person and a special snowflake and the world revolves around you and YOU'RE perfect, then the cross is useless to you.
It makes sense why I used to not be able to handle criticism. Self-righteousness. Boom. Ouch.

Now... I'm still trying to be sensitive to sin, but I relearned those two old truths that I keep finding more and more precious.

Seek ye first the kingdom of God.
Morning by morning new mercies I see.

Together those two song verses have brought me back to the foot of the cross, ashamed and aware of my own foolishness. And yet I've come a long ways since high school. Not by my own 'perceptiveness,' goodness knows, I was born blind... Happily, my Jesus is a Master of healing blind people. Of all kinds.

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Maybe this is another moment of youthful optimism and hunger for the world to change... maybe it's dumb, but even if everyone I love and look up to disregards it, I don't mind.

Warren said tonight, "We are not waiting around for a revival. This is it. We are the revival."

And at first, you think, we're a bunch of kids (and grown-ups) praying in a living room, talking about revival.

But I know, I don't just FEEL, I'm sure that the kind of heroic faith we saw in the saints of old hasn't died. The same Holy Spirit in Stephen is burning in my heart. I don't have to be any more "righteous."
With that in mind... why shouldn't we be the revival??

People scoff because revivals usually overthrow governments and do big things.
But they scoffed at Jesus, too.
People scoff at me. That doesn't mean that I have any less chance than Rich Mullins to make a difference.

Every hero started out here, submerged in an apathetic culture that had resigned itself to its own fate.
I can't think of a single hero that didn't have to sacrifice everything to change the world.

When I say I want to change the world.... I don't mean I want to climb to the top of the heap, to overthrow the government, and to turn everyone into hippies.
I mean that I want to change the world, by ushering in the Kingdom.

So where does what I'm doing now plug in with these far-fetched notions?

Well, I'm at college. Studying Strategic Communications. I want to get a job. I want to get an apartment. I want to live and work and save up money to accomplish my dreams.

Previously I had mentioned that my dream was to go to Japan and start a garden. But by the time I graduate... what if there's a bigger dream? What if God wants something else for me?

But there are years in between. I'm listening for the Lord. I have decided that I won't go until the Lord gives me a clear sign. I will serve faithfully wherever I am.
(you can breathe a sigh of relief now)

I realize this is oodles and oodles to read, and I'm sorry, I usually like to keep these short.

But here's a challenge.


Look in your heart. Do you really love the Lord your God with all your soul, heart, mind and strength? Or do you have idols?

Whatever you're building your life around
Whatever you can't stop thinking about
Whatever you turn to for support first
Whatever you hope in
Whatever you find yourself longing for...

Hey! I'm not trying to say that I don't have them! I do! But breaking them is so GOOD! You get closer and closer to God!

Examples of common idols:

-approval of man. if you find that you spend all your time trying to make people like you.
-stability, security. when you spend all your time trying to make sure that you can stand on your own two feet. There was a reason Jesus said "Blessed are the poor," and I think it's because they know how to really have faith and depend on the Lord for their needs.
And then there are those material idols. I know I sometimes make an idol out of my phone or my super-nice stereo. I'm lucky to have them.

When you turn your eyes to Heaven and store up your treasures there, you start to realize how dim the things of this world really seem to you, and the Kingdom here on earth seems more and more in focus and in color.

in the words of the disciple that Jesus loved, "LOVE ONE ANOTHER"