"Bad" day?

Were I not trying hard to be an obedient servant of Our Lord Christ, I would not say that today was a good day.
As it is? Well, I would say that it was. I learned a lot about myself.
I’m not used to being in a bad mood. But today, I had evil in my heart. I felt grumpy. I tried hard to be obedient throughout, but it was just hard… I guess it can’t always be easy.

My laptop got another virus, even with the anti-virus software. Maybe it’s finally time to ditch the old dinosaur haha!

I lost my USB stick with a lot of great stuff on it. I’m lucky that I had already turned in my paper and I may find it again, until then, I’ll just email things to myself…
I also lost my headphones. Bummer. I’ll keep looking for those, too.
So, losing things always ticks me off big time, and I was already in a foul mood, so that was frustrating.

I was riding to class and trying to keep my chin up, even though I felt tired and mad. I never feel that way, so it’s hard for me to control my temper. But I was trying my best. I was so out of sorts that I kept saying wrong answers to questions and I just…. I felt very off-kilter. Even as I was riding my bike, I almost crashed multiple times.

Before all this happened, me and Nathan and Dustin were praying at the church, and Dustin prayed that I would have boldness and be tested so that I could see the fruits of all the teaching I was receiving.

With that in mind, I’d certainly say there was a lot of testing today. But he also prayed that I would be full of light, and full of grace. So far, even while I was angry, I was taking my thoughts captive and rejecting negative thoughts. They kept coming, and I kept fighting them.

But I was riding my bike and it was hot and I took my beloved jacket off (that I wore everyday because the mornings are cold) and hung it on my purse as I rode, and when I got off my bike, my pink jacket was missing! I looked everywhere, retraced my steps, frantically, but I couldn’t find it.

I got that jacket at the Gaylord Hotel, it says “ICE” on it, and it’s super cozy. I always used to wear it when I got sick because it was so comfy…. It had a lot of memories.

Still – it was just a silly jacket, and it shouldn’t have made me cry, let alone have a meltdown, but it turned into the straw on the proverbial camel’s back. I cried all the way to class, wore sunglasses so no one could tell, and then in the middle of class went to the bathroom and cried some more.
I became aware of my iniquity and need for grace in English Comp. I was done crying and felt bitter and just kind of wanted to go home. I took all my anger out in my case speech, I was supposed to argue for some new government policy, and I was … well, kind of acidic. I didn’t even really care about the policy, but when my teacher gave a reason for why the plan wouldn’t work, I took all my anger out in my refute, and even though she was impressed I could tell that I hadn’t been very loving.
Well, I gotta go, I think my day is about to turn around. I’m going to play drums tonight and then I am going to go to a pancake dinner party.
Praise the Lord for loving me even when I am grumpy and acidic. I think after I get a great night’s sleep, and eat some eggs, I’ll feel better.
At this point in my walk all I could do is sing hymns without truly feeling happy in trials. I can’t wait until I grow to that level of maturity that I won’t break down, give up, and dance for joy even in the midst of things like this.
Pray for me.

~

An added note to this:

God is faithful to turn things around. The night sure was fun. After Crave, small group was awesome. And then Pancake dinner at the pearl house was awesome too :)

I feel so much better. As an encouragement to you, even your worst days can turn out to be your favorites! Don't lose faith! Be strong in the Lord. Fight the good fight, friends