My G-d Remains Faithful

The fussing, meddling, hand-wringing old woman in me hates to see things shift and change. It's too much for her to handle.

But as evidenced in the treetops (somewhere I often look to in my wonderings) life doesn't settle in a ripe green... it doesn't roll into a place of supreme happiness, even if all things do work together for our good. Seasons come and go.
We can learn much from our friends long ago who worked and toiled in prairie fields, living in log cabins and preparing for cold winters.

And so the people around me grow and change. Sometimes they're so precious I just want to hold them close and never let them go, because as soon as I do, they've grown a minute older. They're a minute different from the jewel I know well and adore.

Maybe that's why I hug so tight.

I'm still trying to understand things like change and death and life. Those are very hard concepts for ... well, me. I just like thinking about flowers and sunshine, lolipops and hymns.

People used to tell me that I'd understand when I was older. Now I'm telling myself the same thing.. "don't worry, Rach, you'll understand it all someday." Then life hits me like a freight train and I am yelling to Rach, "If only you understood more things!"

I'm eighteen. I'm a grown-up. I know what I should know. I know that I don't.


I am a child. Running, tumbling, scraping my knee, trying to figure out the world, chasing the wind, and at the end of the day, when I'm too tired to go on, curled up in a ball, the Lord comes like my Big Strong Dad and picks me up, and He carries me home and lays me down on the couch, safe and sound.

He doesn't grumble or complain.. sometimes rumples my hair while I doze off.

And those days I try to bite off more than I can chew, those days that problems seem too hard, or I have questions I can't find an answer to... my Father looks at me kindly, inviting me to run into His chest and weep into His shirt, and pats my back as I hiccup and tell Him what happened.

So the world might turn completely upside down. I might lose everything. Everyone in the world could hate me. But no power of hell, no scheme of man, will ever pluck me from His hand.

My G-d is the same yesterday today and forever.