Perhaps that title is a little over-the-top and cliche but maybe I'm the same way..
This won't be the first time I claim to abandon this blog. I think I've done it a few times now.
I had this stereotype in my mind about people who use Tumblr... so I didn't use it. But here's the thing. I want less to post lengthy thoughts on the impossible-to-describe these days than I just want to keep a record of things.
What better way to document my life? And immediately I think, why does my life need documenting? Because it seems helpful. But I don't know. I don't have anything to hide.
Wednesday, May 30, 2012
Monday, May 14, 2012
Fanfiction/Mario
FIRSTLY / FANFICION
Something about blogging just makes me think, ugh. How self-absorbed do you have to be.... This blog sometimes makes me feel silly.
I guess my only defense is, I don't write posts that much.
In my mind, the only thing worse than blogging is writing fanfiction. All kinds of hilarious stereotypes come to mind whenever I come across that word.
I never really wrote fanfiction and published it on the internet. I did write and illustrate a Pokemon story. I also wrote a script for a Pokemon play. I don't know where either of those things are, but it's incredibly funny to me now. Yes, that might sound dumb to you and me, but the difference is, fanfiction is kind of uncomfortable, and a little kid writing Pokemon plays is just kind of funny. So I don't feel ashamed of myself for that as much as I feel ashamed about reading fanfiction.
The first kind of fanfiction I read was humor stories about, for example, Harry Potter. Man, I still quote some of those stories with my siblings. I don't feel bad about this so much. I mean, it's the literary equivalent of watching funny Youtube videos... well, maybe not.
The second kind of fanfiction I read was serious fanfiction. Ryanoshi wrote this one Mario series called "Songs of the Silent Age" and at the time I thought it was the greatest piece of online writing ever published. I've been playing Super Mario RPG recently and really enjoying the story and characters and it made me think of another Mario story that was very involved and I realized it was this epic (referring to length, not the dumb "awesome" synonym) fanfiction written by some guy.
Here's the thing - reading it made me feel dramatic and blog-posty, just like a teenager. I even did a little creeping on the guy. I was just curious. Who is this guy that influenced me so much? Ryanoshi, who are you? How old were you when you wrote that stuff? How do you feel about it now? Do you cringe at your old work like I cringe at my bad poetry or, worse, emotional blog posts?
SECONDLY / THE MARIO STORY
As I creeped on Ryanoshi, wondering these things, reading his journal posts, I noticed they were written from the perspective of a Yoshi. It was endearing to me because of the simple nature of the Yoshi and it occurred to me that much of the Mario world is just as innocent and heart-warming.
Paper Mario is like watching a cute children's movie. It's fun, and fun-NY.
Super Mario RPG is kind of creepy in its format, but the characters are just as innocent and lovable. Playing through it isn't exactly a walk in the park, but ultimately it's rewarding.
I don't think I have to defend myself or label my affection for these characters as "nerdiness." I don't think anything about appreciating video games or even feeling inspired by them is shameful.
But posting fanfiction definitely is.
peace out.
Something about blogging just makes me think, ugh. How self-absorbed do you have to be.... This blog sometimes makes me feel silly.
I guess my only defense is, I don't write posts that much.
In my mind, the only thing worse than blogging is writing fanfiction. All kinds of hilarious stereotypes come to mind whenever I come across that word.
I never really wrote fanfiction and published it on the internet. I did write and illustrate a Pokemon story. I also wrote a script for a Pokemon play. I don't know where either of those things are, but it's incredibly funny to me now. Yes, that might sound dumb to you and me, but the difference is, fanfiction is kind of uncomfortable, and a little kid writing Pokemon plays is just kind of funny. So I don't feel ashamed of myself for that as much as I feel ashamed about reading fanfiction.
The first kind of fanfiction I read was humor stories about, for example, Harry Potter. Man, I still quote some of those stories with my siblings. I don't feel bad about this so much. I mean, it's the literary equivalent of watching funny Youtube videos... well, maybe not.
The second kind of fanfiction I read was serious fanfiction. Ryanoshi wrote this one Mario series called "Songs of the Silent Age" and at the time I thought it was the greatest piece of online writing ever published. I've been playing Super Mario RPG recently and really enjoying the story and characters and it made me think of another Mario story that was very involved and I realized it was this epic (referring to length, not the dumb "awesome" synonym) fanfiction written by some guy.
Here's the thing - reading it made me feel dramatic and blog-posty, just like a teenager. I even did a little creeping on the guy. I was just curious. Who is this guy that influenced me so much? Ryanoshi, who are you? How old were you when you wrote that stuff? How do you feel about it now? Do you cringe at your old work like I cringe at my bad poetry or, worse, emotional blog posts?
SECONDLY / THE MARIO STORY
As I creeped on Ryanoshi, wondering these things, reading his journal posts, I noticed they were written from the perspective of a Yoshi. It was endearing to me because of the simple nature of the Yoshi and it occurred to me that much of the Mario world is just as innocent and heart-warming.
Paper Mario is like watching a cute children's movie. It's fun, and fun-NY.
Super Mario RPG is kind of creepy in its format, but the characters are just as innocent and lovable. Playing through it isn't exactly a walk in the park, but ultimately it's rewarding.
I don't think I have to defend myself or label my affection for these characters as "nerdiness." I don't think anything about appreciating video games or even feeling inspired by them is shameful.
But posting fanfiction definitely is.
peace out.
Saturday, April 21, 2012
Creative Writing
Well, friends, I haven't sat down to write here in a long time. I think I used to derive a lot of pleasure trying to come up with pretty-sounding gems from my heart that might be encouraging to others on this blog. Recently those efforts have gone into my Creative Writing class.
The first thing I wrote in that class was very selfish. It was the first thing I shared, anyway. It was supposed to be about nature, and it ended up being about me instead. But when I think about nature, I'm too self-absorbed to think about trees. I see nature sometimes as a living, breathing illustration of how we're meant to operate. I end up thinking about people more than I end up just enjoying nature for its own sake.
I don't entirely regret this. I live in the land of metaphors. Illustration, in word or art or song, has always been something I chase after. If I can use trees to point to what is heavenly, it will have been worth it.
The second thing I wrote was my workshop piece. A lot of cheerful people liked it and a lot of true artists didn't. But I don't regret it, even though I see why they hate it. A younger version of myself would react the same way to it.
But you know... The thing about pieces that are sweet and utterly devoid of disturbing elements is that they have a small audience that is satisfied with the cute story, and a larger audience that wants to venture into the dark parts of the soul. Sometimes it's because that's where they live.
I am unashamedly a citizen of the bright kingdom of heaven and therefore I tell about what I see, and I see joy, and treasure, and life. Pardon the lack of story arc - I'm serving you a cookie, not a meal, this time.
The third thing I wrote was a poem. It was the story of a leper and his descent into isolation and eventual salvation. The repulsive leper-man is met by a hero who pours precious oils over him. Of course it is a metaphor for the Gospel. Something of no value, of negative value (unclean things make other things unclean) is given value in an act of pure kindness. The poem was a bit dark in places as was necessary and it was a hit with more of the true artists than my nonfiction. I hope all the artists think about that last stanza - hope is hard to find and I intended to serve it to them in a form they could digest.
The fourth piece, a fiction poem, was the most selfish of all. It was the story of a little girl and her older friend. It is probably the worst piece. I started writing it about homecoming and the joys of coming come and going to where you're meant to be (another Gospel-centric piece) but it turned into a fleshing out of an old strange phenomenon I have frequently experienced as a young girl. It's hard for me to say that because now I can't separate myself from it and play the fiction card. It's not me, I wish I could say.
I'm going to write more for my final portfolio. I'll have to make them artsier so that I get a good grade, but you know, I want to write well, and certainly I've found beautiful things along the way this semester. Simply marvelous.
The first thing I wrote in that class was very selfish. It was the first thing I shared, anyway. It was supposed to be about nature, and it ended up being about me instead. But when I think about nature, I'm too self-absorbed to think about trees. I see nature sometimes as a living, breathing illustration of how we're meant to operate. I end up thinking about people more than I end up just enjoying nature for its own sake.
I don't entirely regret this. I live in the land of metaphors. Illustration, in word or art or song, has always been something I chase after. If I can use trees to point to what is heavenly, it will have been worth it.
The second thing I wrote was my workshop piece. A lot of cheerful people liked it and a lot of true artists didn't. But I don't regret it, even though I see why they hate it. A younger version of myself would react the same way to it.
But you know... The thing about pieces that are sweet and utterly devoid of disturbing elements is that they have a small audience that is satisfied with the cute story, and a larger audience that wants to venture into the dark parts of the soul. Sometimes it's because that's where they live.
I am unashamedly a citizen of the bright kingdom of heaven and therefore I tell about what I see, and I see joy, and treasure, and life. Pardon the lack of story arc - I'm serving you a cookie, not a meal, this time.
The third thing I wrote was a poem. It was the story of a leper and his descent into isolation and eventual salvation. The repulsive leper-man is met by a hero who pours precious oils over him. Of course it is a metaphor for the Gospel. Something of no value, of negative value (unclean things make other things unclean) is given value in an act of pure kindness. The poem was a bit dark in places as was necessary and it was a hit with more of the true artists than my nonfiction. I hope all the artists think about that last stanza - hope is hard to find and I intended to serve it to them in a form they could digest.
The fourth piece, a fiction poem, was the most selfish of all. It was the story of a little girl and her older friend. It is probably the worst piece. I started writing it about homecoming and the joys of coming come and going to where you're meant to be (another Gospel-centric piece) but it turned into a fleshing out of an old strange phenomenon I have frequently experienced as a young girl. It's hard for me to say that because now I can't separate myself from it and play the fiction card. It's not me, I wish I could say.
I'm going to write more for my final portfolio. I'll have to make them artsier so that I get a good grade, but you know, I want to write well, and certainly I've found beautiful things along the way this semester. Simply marvelous.
Monday, January 16, 2012
A glorious castle
It all started when I found out that my tiny new house, that I had just moved into, had stairs. I ran up the stairs and opened the door to a windy deck, that stretched out as far as the eye could see.
Trees were coming up out of holes in the deck, and were decorated with ornaments and lights. But they paled in comparison to the sky. It was daytime, but stars were shooting. I looked down, and found that I was miles and miles above the ground, in the clouds!
I ran around the trees and grabbed onto the railing, looking down, and thought it was a great moment to yell, "I'm the king of the world!" even though I've never seen Titanic.
Not only was there a staircase, but there was an elevator. The floor numbers were in Roman numerals, but there were so many characters I couldn't tell what floor I was on. I jumped in and out at random stops, until night fell.
On one of the floors they were having the most wonderful feast. After dinner, everyone went outside to watch the king of the castle, riding around in a chariot through the night sky, set off fireworks.
He was laughing, and having a jolly good time. Everyone was cheering, and someone told me, "This happens every night!"
Maybe tomorrow night I'll have that dream again....
Trees were coming up out of holes in the deck, and were decorated with ornaments and lights. But they paled in comparison to the sky. It was daytime, but stars were shooting. I looked down, and found that I was miles and miles above the ground, in the clouds!
I ran around the trees and grabbed onto the railing, looking down, and thought it was a great moment to yell, "I'm the king of the world!" even though I've never seen Titanic.
Not only was there a staircase, but there was an elevator. The floor numbers were in Roman numerals, but there were so many characters I couldn't tell what floor I was on. I jumped in and out at random stops, until night fell.
On one of the floors they were having the most wonderful feast. After dinner, everyone went outside to watch the king of the castle, riding around in a chariot through the night sky, set off fireworks.
He was laughing, and having a jolly good time. Everyone was cheering, and someone told me, "This happens every night!"
Maybe tomorrow night I'll have that dream again....
Saturday, January 14, 2012
A princess of sorts
Today was the day that I spent hours and hours in the kitchen. Of my own free will. I sang and danced and rainbow bubbles frolicked around me.
At first I sang my favorite Disney numbers - mostly Sleeping Beauty, my favorite Disney princess movie. (Mulan isn't a princess, but if she were, she would be) (also, Anastasia isn't Disney or a princess, but she's pretty great, too)
I also swept the floors in preparation for my friend Mariana to come over. She brought ingredients to make cookies! =-)
I genuinely enjoyed tidying up the place.
And then we made cookies! And people loved them!
After that, the Broncos game was going to be hosted at Matt's place, and so I made these brownie things, I baked peanut butter kisses in a layer of brownie under a layer of cookie! It was pretty good!
It was such a fun day!!!
At first I sang my favorite Disney numbers - mostly Sleeping Beauty, my favorite Disney princess movie. (Mulan isn't a princess, but if she were, she would be) (also, Anastasia isn't Disney or a princess, but she's pretty great, too)
I also swept the floors in preparation for my friend Mariana to come over. She brought ingredients to make cookies! =-)
I genuinely enjoyed tidying up the place.And then we made cookies! And people loved them!
After that, the Broncos game was going to be hosted at Matt's place, and so I made these brownie things, I baked peanut butter kisses in a layer of brownie under a layer of cookie! It was pretty good!
It was such a fun day!!!
Monday, January 9, 2012
Charging into worlds previously unknown
Entering into the new house has been like an entrance into a new world - a world in which I determine how my room looks, where my clothes go, what my "style" is...
At first college choices were about what was easy. Simple. Convenient. I just want to get out of people's way. I just want to get all the boxes checked off.
Suddenly, it's like I'm choosing my future. I like old things. I love being in old houses. I want to feel like I'm in an old Victorian home...
When I touch and hold old things, it's like they're saying, "we were here before you, and we will be here after you. You are not alone. You are not the first. You are safe, and what seems to you like a tragedy is but a passing thing."
It's not the permanence. It's their experience. The people that used them have already made it through youth and learned how to be adults and fight through every hard and uncomfortable thing.
I almost cried when I found this. Dahhh! Waves of covetousness....
Also, in other news... I changed the blog design again. I don't know if I'll ever be happy with it, but it's fun design practice.... haha, I mean, it's no UNT class, but I still feel like I'm learning things. I figured out you could create a swatch folder. I got really excited, even though that's probably a really simple and basic thing.
Today was kind of challenging, but in the end, it turned out wonderful.
We went furniture shopping again - it's so hard for me not to say now, "I'll need that someday!" and think of the future. One day I really might need those things... but today isn't that day. No matter how good the discount sounds.
I did end up buying a gloriously cappuccino-coloured rug. It's bodacious.
Also, gold mine...... I was using a piece of packaging, trash essentially, A LID, to hold my jewelry, but today I saw a jewelry box that just turned my world upside down.
Pictures to come. Yes, I bought it.
Carole had this great coupon for Palio's, my favorite expensive pizza place. The catch was you had to spend 35 dollars to get 25 dollars taken off. So we bought 35 dollars worth and it ended up being 5 dollars for pizza that was like, nearly forty. KA-CHOW. Best pizza I've had since Gino's East in Chicago, which is my actual favorite pizza place.
Alright, it comes in levels.
Cheap pizza: Little Caesar's. Yum.
Moderately priced pizza: Crooked Crust.
Kind of expensive pizza: Palio's
OMG CAN'T FIT ANY MORE GOLD STATUES IN MY MANSION, NEED TO WASTE MONEY: Gino's East.
Those are all my favorite pizzas, for every financial state I might be in.
Alright, I gotta do some "homework," gotta research textbook prices. I'll post pictures of that awesome jewelry box soon.
At first college choices were about what was easy. Simple. Convenient. I just want to get out of people's way. I just want to get all the boxes checked off.
Suddenly, it's like I'm choosing my future. I like old things. I love being in old houses. I want to feel like I'm in an old Victorian home...
When I touch and hold old things, it's like they're saying, "we were here before you, and we will be here after you. You are not alone. You are not the first. You are safe, and what seems to you like a tragedy is but a passing thing."
It's not the permanence. It's their experience. The people that used them have already made it through youth and learned how to be adults and fight through every hard and uncomfortable thing.
I almost cried when I found this. Dahhh! Waves of covetousness....Also, in other news... I changed the blog design again. I don't know if I'll ever be happy with it, but it's fun design practice.... haha, I mean, it's no UNT class, but I still feel like I'm learning things. I figured out you could create a swatch folder. I got really excited, even though that's probably a really simple and basic thing.
Today was kind of challenging, but in the end, it turned out wonderful.
We went furniture shopping again - it's so hard for me not to say now, "I'll need that someday!" and think of the future. One day I really might need those things... but today isn't that day. No matter how good the discount sounds.
I did end up buying a gloriously cappuccino-coloured rug. It's bodacious.
Also, gold mine...... I was using a piece of packaging, trash essentially, A LID, to hold my jewelry, but today I saw a jewelry box that just turned my world upside down.
Pictures to come. Yes, I bought it.
Carole had this great coupon for Palio's, my favorite expensive pizza place. The catch was you had to spend 35 dollars to get 25 dollars taken off. So we bought 35 dollars worth and it ended up being 5 dollars for pizza that was like, nearly forty. KA-CHOW. Best pizza I've had since Gino's East in Chicago, which is my actual favorite pizza place.
Alright, it comes in levels.
Cheap pizza: Little Caesar's. Yum.
Moderately priced pizza: Crooked Crust.
Kind of expensive pizza: Palio's
OMG CAN'T FIT ANY MORE GOLD STATUES IN MY MANSION, NEED TO WASTE MONEY: Gino's East.
Those are all my favorite pizzas, for every financial state I might be in.
Alright, I gotta do some "homework," gotta research textbook prices. I'll post pictures of that awesome jewelry box soon.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Furniture Day!
TODAY Jon came over and showed me "Whisper of the Heart" which was a very endearing film - might be in my top 15 of movies. So cute. Studio Ghibli is incredible.
He was kind enough to take me to Kroger, and I got some great food. I decided that I was going to rise above just buying veggie burgers and heating them up. I got ham and cheese and pesto, the perfect ingredients for the perfect filling sandwich.
As you can see, I also picked the healthiest breakfast cereal for those mornings I don't have time to scramble eggs.
Food situation: A+
Right before me and Grace and Carole left to buy furniture, I strangely found my scooter keys.
Anyway, at Ruth's room, I found these things:
a lovely little cup for a quarter! I've been using it as my one and only water drinking mug!
A kleenex holder that went with my bathroom set! And it looks great with my crackle dresser!!!
Lastly, a realistic rose jar, with glass water! They look beautiful! I didn't know they were fake until I picked it up and the water didn't move!
So I felt that Ruth's room was a success.
Then we traversed to this other place that was having a crazy sale, and I found the loveliest set of dishes I've ever seen in my life. I will hold out to the end and say that it is the greatest dishset that has ever been made. I love it.
So, I got them. Now, no matter where I live, I can say that I have the most wonderful dishset of them all. All I lack is silverware. But that's a long ways a way. I just had to snatch these up now, because no matter what I found in the future, I will always look back and say, "But they will never amount to THAT set I saw years ago..."
So my dresser looks like this now:
I like it.
I didn't have anything to put in this frame, but it was such a cute frame, I just drew my friend Jon ... lol
yep
We've done the microwave like this...
I like it.
Josh helped us put this up in the bathroom:
Then I went to a party, and there were cool performances. The coolest one was "pictureless picture captions" that Nathan read and it was awesome.
Me and Jon and Ryan all had an awesome jazz jam together, me singing, Jon playing guitar, and Ryan playing saxophone.
All in all, a great day.
He was kind enough to take me to Kroger, and I got some great food. I decided that I was going to rise above just buying veggie burgers and heating them up. I got ham and cheese and pesto, the perfect ingredients for the perfect filling sandwich.As you can see, I also picked the healthiest breakfast cereal for those mornings I don't have time to scramble eggs.
Food situation: A+
Right before me and Grace and Carole left to buy furniture, I strangely found my scooter keys.
Anyway, at Ruth's room, I found these things:
a lovely little cup for a quarter! I've been using it as my one and only water drinking mug!
A kleenex holder that went with my bathroom set! And it looks great with my crackle dresser!!!Lastly, a realistic rose jar, with glass water! They look beautiful! I didn't know they were fake until I picked it up and the water didn't move!
So I felt that Ruth's room was a success.
Then we traversed to this other place that was having a crazy sale, and I found the loveliest set of dishes I've ever seen in my life. I will hold out to the end and say that it is the greatest dishset that has ever been made. I love it.
So, I got them. Now, no matter where I live, I can say that I have the most wonderful dishset of them all. All I lack is silverware. But that's a long ways a way. I just had to snatch these up now, because no matter what I found in the future, I will always look back and say, "But they will never amount to THAT set I saw years ago..."
So my dresser looks like this now:
I like it.I didn't have anything to put in this frame, but it was such a cute frame, I just drew my friend Jon ... lol
yepWe've done the microwave like this...
I like it.Josh helped us put this up in the bathroom:
Then I went to a party, and there were cool performances. The coolest one was "pictureless picture captions" that Nathan read and it was awesome.
Me and Jon and Ryan all had an awesome jazz jam together, me singing, Jon playing guitar, and Ryan playing saxophone.All in all, a great day.
Sunday, January 1, 2012
The new things
Yesterday me and all the other ex-ladies of Crow went out to eat at this cute cafe - a brunch place. I can't remember the name....
We also are nearly finished moving - the house is empty except for the garage.
Currently me, Jon and Matt are all at Boomer Jacks watching the Broncos - well, they just lost. Might stay for the cowboyzzz
but I really wanna go home and finish setting up the new house.
It's like Animal Crossing in real life!!!
We also are nearly finished moving - the house is empty except for the garage.
Currently me, Jon and Matt are all at Boomer Jacks watching the Broncos - well, they just lost. Might stay for the cowboyzzz
but I really wanna go home and finish setting up the new house.
It's like Animal Crossing in real life!!!
Wednesday, December 28, 2011
Moving
I guess there's not a lot of need for a "farewell" to the Crow House. At least not here. It deserves the silent benediction that we are writing in our hearts about it, with every plate we take out of the shelves.
I'm not sad to leave. I think I learned a long time ago the best way to be content with change is to have hope in the things ahead.
It wasn't too long ago that I was moving my things in, imagining what life would be like here. Right now I'm anticipating life in the Scripture house. I kind of like that name. It's just the street name, but I like it.
I like living in houses with friends. No matter where I go, I think I'll be happy.
Tuesday, December 27, 2011
Life-change
So I got this SWANK new iPod touch.
I know it will probably change my life because it has a camera on it and I want to start documenting my life better.
This is Jon. He's actually really nice once you get to know him.
His dad gave me a Christmas present! He gave me and Jon matching Tebow jerseys.
I think it's pretty cool.
I'll probably be documenting more. But I want to LIVE more too!!!!
I feel like that won't be a problem as I have this awesome new SCOOTER!!! It's so HIP! Also, I have new shoes...
I know it will probably change my life because it has a camera on it and I want to start documenting my life better.
This is Jon. He's actually really nice once you get to know him.
His dad gave me a Christmas present! He gave me and Jon matching Tebow jerseys.
I think it's pretty cool.
I'll probably be documenting more. But I want to LIVE more too!!!!
I feel like that won't be a problem as I have this awesome new SCOOTER!!! It's so HIP! Also, I have new shoes...
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