Good news for bad moods. also, yogurt.

Today was fun. I was kind of in a bad mood because I stayed up late working on design, but you know what? I can't really be too unhappy smack in the middle of my favorite school in the world. Life is good. that bad mood didn't stand a chance. >:)

I have been studying pretty intensely lately and doing a lot of homework, so I decided to take a break tonight and me and some other cool people got some tasty frozen yogurt at this fantastic yogurt shop.

Gosh I love yogurt. It's a mutual friend of the tongue and the waistline.
The same goes for applesauce.

I got a good grade on my drawing assignment. =)

Annnnd I got a good grade on my design quiz!

Now one last big project and then it's the weekend....

Changes!

It's funny how the the weather has been treating me kindly. The day after I buy rainboots, there's torrential rain. The day I come back bringing all my fall and winter wardrobe, it's chilly and I can finally bust out the sweatervests and argyle socks!

I've been looking forward to hot chocolate and scarves.

But there's other changes going on too. Like my taste in music. It seems like there isn't much I don't enjoy listening to these days.

I have a big project due tomorrow. And another one due Thursday. After that I think I'll be able to sleep soundly, but right now I'm cranky afljeiorusflsjefskkk@#$@$!!!
I used to think naps were pretty wonderful back in high school. Now they're like special rewards to myself.

Another change is my relationship with my alarm clock. We used to respect each other, but lately I haven't really been treating him right. Things are just a little tense between us right now...

It seems like I don't have time for anything. I know, welcome to college. But for realz. It's tough.

I was reading through Luke 12 and it filled me with joy because it's part of the inspiration for Jon Foreman's "Your Love is Strong"
But it's also very reassuring. How much more valuable are we to God than sparrows or ravens? He will take care of us.

Change is a scary thing, but it's good to know some things never will. =)

Darkness and fear

There was a shooting at UT today. I don't know if anyone was actually hurt, or if/when the attackers were apprehended, but it breaks my heart all the same.

What kind of state would someone's soul be in if that person truly believed the best course of action would be to hurt/kill other people? They must have seen a lot of pain - they must be so confused.

I feel like I'm surrounded by God's love shining through other people and nourishing my heart. Everyone around me is so kind..
I do my best to walk in the light, but also to show others the love I don't deserve, but have been blessed to recieve.

I firmly and strongly believe that showing others God's love that pushes away darkness inside people. Love heals.

If you would pray for UT, pray against the darkness and fear that may have been caused as a result of this frightening event, as well as UT's safety.

Candles in the grass

Communion was different tonight.

Firstly, I biked to Communion. I almost didn't get lost. I actually got confused multiple times. I biked to the hospital and realized it was too far, I biked down the wrong road and had to get directions.
But then.... my lack of directional skills is nothing new

Secondly, we had communion in a field. We put candles in the grass. They were protected in little cups, no need to fret. And then we worshipped and sang and prayed out in the field under the stars. I've never done anything like it.

Something about singing "you placed the stars in the sky and you know them by name" while looking up right into the big dipper is special.


I realized something though. It's harder for me to follow God the way I do here back home. I just slip back into the same ruts and stumble over the same things - even after I prayed for strength to fight against them!

But I'm getting stronger all the time. There is still so much I don't understand, and sometimes it overwhelms me, but in the best of ways. The world doesn't have any power over me, the only thing I want to overwhelm me is the glory of God.

Back home

There's not so much to say. Home is home. I'm amazed all the time at how grown-up Daniel is getting. He says the darndest things.

I'm also amazed at how different Jessie and I am - her high school experience seems to be going completely differently. She got nominated for homecoming court!
It's funny. Jessie has to help me with my wardrobe. I think that I would dress rather absurdly if Jessie wasn't there to point and laugh at me before I walked out the door.

I got a webcam for my birthday!!! Real exciting!

Oh, I had a real blast with some of my friends from back home. I still look forward to getting back to Denton though =)

Birthday

I still am trying to take in all the events of today. It was easily the best day I've had all year. It was wonderful through and through.

This picture of a man being carried away by balloons represents me just soaring with joy. =)))))))


You know what?? People are just wonderful. Especially the people here. There is so much kindness and love and ahhh it just makes me cry with happiness! (I seriously did have tears of joy earlier today)

Maggie got me some baked goodies from Ravelin Bakery (AHHHH and she remembered that I LOVE chocolate croissants! sweet girl)

I had really been wanting to go to Beth Marie's ever since I got to Denton, and I finally got to go!!! So that really completed the day for me. I was satisfied.

Then I got to go to an honors picnic and that was pretty fun. I got sung to =)

I received an unexpected cake when I got back to honors! So I decided to take it to the BSM! Because I wanted the wonderful people there to enjoy it! And I had already celebrated, in my mind.

But the best part of the day was yet to come. The BSM pulled off this really great surprise party and I honestly have never felt so special and it was the best birthday... ever. Just because I didn't expect so many people to share my birthday with me because it's my freshman fall year and I'm still making friends. It was just so special. That's really the only word in my head right now.

I really don't think I deserved such a wonderful surprise. God has given me such a precious gift, having them in my life, and I am overwhelmed by their kindness.

I just don't know what to say.

Thank you...

Goodie Bags =)

Today we passed out paper bags of snacks and candy to people to tell them about FLOW - Free Lunch on Wednesdays. =) It was really nice... I miss goodie bags!

There is a special joy in giving a stranger a gift.

I had this idea after Maggie talked with me about putting on the armor of God and the "Phillipians Filter."



I wrote the elements of them on my door, so that before I left my dorm room each day, I wouldn't forget to prepare myself spiritually!



Just as a memo to myself. Then I thought, to help me learn these things, I should add them to the door!



Seeing them so often should help engrave this doctrine on my heart!

"revolutionized by love"

Tonight me and some other BSM kids gathered at Lindsey's house to prepare for a thing called "Cardboard Testimonies."
If you've been to super summer, or a Christian youth camp, you've probably heard about them. In case you haven't, the basic idea is that you write on one side a statement reflecting your life before Christ and the other side reflects how your life has changed.

It was kind of hard for me to decide what to put on the first side. Many of the statements coming to mind were "sad" and "angry" but most of all "lost"
The sad part is, I had the theology in my heart, but I was distant from God. There was no firm relationship.
After Christ really became a part of my life, everything changed! And things are changing now, I feel like it's a whole new stage of my Christian life.

But it was hard to share the junk that was in my life before... because I was worried about how I would be seen afterwards. I guess that's a pretty silly thing. But I guess, as much of my heart as I wear on my sleeve...
So I ended up putting "self-destructive" because that covered it all, how I tore myself down inside.

On the other side, I wrote that my life was "revolutionized by love"
And I use and think about that word so much. I try and keep it a priority in my life. As a verb, I mean. Helping and caring for people.

I think that was my 180 degree turn. From tearing myself down to building other people up. That was what I originally wanted to put. "building up His family/Kingdom" something like that.

I've rediscovered Rich Mullins...again. I keep re-finding him and falling in love with his music over and over. Shuffle is a wonderful thing.

The people at the BSM are so filled with love and compassion. I am so blessed to have fellowship with them.

Design Critique

Well I had my first real design critique. My designs weren't super but I worked hard on them, and I got one to look how I wanted it to. The other one.... ended up a little different, but it was ok.
I was happy with both. Not thrilled.

I was a little overwhelmed when I walked in because all the other pieces were so good. So I felt a bit scared presenting mine.

But HOORAY! Everyone said nice things. There's this one guy Tyler who seems to know everything there is about art theory and gestalt, and he said something favorable. So that really made my day. I wish I could perform at everyone else's level, because they had more complicated designs with stronger visuals but I'm just getting started. I will catch up >:)

For someone with no "design" experience I suppose it could have gone worse.

I scheduled an appointment with the career counselor today. I didn't get to talk to her, but I AM being proactive about the whole thing.

I also picked up a ticket for the honors picnic on thursday. And got the email fixed, so hopefully I won't be relying on honors kid gossip to know about events like this....

On the weekend eating healthier is harder. Not only do I find myself off campus a lot, but even when I'm on campus, Maple is closed, and that really saddens me. Maple is so cozy and small and wonderful, and Kerr is... ok, but intimidating. I have no idea why. Longer walk? More people? Who knows.

Boy if I ever find the time/energy I will definitely hit the REC center. But between projects, bsm stuff, and everything, I find that I'm expending a lot of time and energy, not a lot left over.
BUT! I am getting so much out of it. Every day I feel like I've learned a month's worth of lessons. I try to suck the juice out of every moment.

I saw a sign inviting people to a "milk and cookies" party, and the header read "LAST CHANCE CHILDHOOD" on it. It made me sad because I only have a few days left until I turn eighteen.........

O Brother Where Art Thou?

This morning C3 had a baptism service. It wasn't your typical service, but then again, nothing about C3 is ordinary! (I mean that in the best of ways) =)

We went in the middle of the square and they had a horse watering trough set up, and they did a really public profession of their faith. I love that. It was really awesome to hear their stories and get dunked right out in the open for passerby to see!

Hearing about their changed lives, it made me think about my own spiritual life. I've been sharing my story, but I started thinking about my baptism and my entire walk.

I am grateful that when I was baptized I understood the reasoning and that I grasped the concept of grace and forgiveness and that I was a new creation.
I am also grateful that I've been raised in a Christian home and was saved VERY early on.

But when I hear stories of the people who were living totally lost and then come back completely on fire for Christ, they really ACT like a new creation.

I've said this so much but I finally feel like I have a spiritual heartbeat, a hunger and thirst for the word, a real relationship, more than just being spoon-fed. So I finally feel like a new creation, and I feel like I'm living more radically, like how I would if I had taken a 180 turn.
Obviously there's more I could do. I'm still learning how to turn my life over. But I'm so excited to grow.
I'm sorry if this is repetitive. But I want the world to know, and especially my family, because this is burning at the core of my heart.

Anyway.

I got a message from my dad - and got to hear a "recap" of my little brother's baseball game. He made a really great catch! I'm very proud of him and I wish I could have been there to see it.

I wish I could be more like Daniel. He's the best little brother anyone could ask for. Whenever anyone is hurting, he is there to offer a comforting pat on the back or a hug. When he says words of encouragement, whatever he says, it's always just what they needed to hear.

We sang a song at the baptism, the one from O Brother Where art Thou? "Oh, brothers, let's go down, let's go down.."
I think we should all try to be more like Daniel - spiritual brothers, always building each other up.

Miss you Dan-Dan!